9 Ways to Move into the Depths, Part 2

We are humans, and as much as we may try to resist, visual presentation remains indispensable to our nature. We see the world through our eyes, and we connect with other people through visual means. It’s part of our evolution. But as humans, we also have the ability to see beneath the surface.

It’s what’a beneath our skin that informs what our character is made of. Our interiority is often abstract, unnamable, made of both language and inner imagery. And it’s for that reason that I believe that working on our interiority first can lead to better outcomes in outer presentation.

Many folks in the community open up to me and express that they are often not satisfied with aspects about themselves. Sometimes those aspects are personality traits, but sometimes those aspects are there bodies and their outward appearance. I get DMs and emails from folks telling me that they lack the self confidence to style themselves in waysthat will reaffirm who they are. This challenge often happens at the gym. For many of the people that reach out to me, wearing spandex tights and leggings to the gym confidently for the first time ever at the gym can seem like an insurmountable challenge.

In order to break through and feel that level of confidence, we have to work on ourselves. Yes, superficial advice of “fake it till you make it” can work sometimes, but for many people, they need to investigate the root cause of their blockage in self confidence. That process not only takes time, it takes courage. It takes a lot of emotional work too, because the process of locating that root cause may also mean that we have to face our childhood and adult traumas. 

I like to work with members of my community to rebuild their confidence. It’s why I still do one-on-one customer service for my store LED Queens, and it’s also why this year I expanded into offering life coaching services that also includes tools for developing self-confidence in presentation for LGBTQ+ and BIPOC folks. 

Growing and developing as a mature adult also connects to outward appearances, and I am here to support you in creating your own unique definition of what it means to present with confidence and keep it queer. My method for coaching folks in this area is body positive and anti-colonialist and based instead on frameworks that support communities that need it most. If you’re interested in my coaching services, please visit my coaching services section and drop me a message or sign up for your free compatibility session.